Back in Belgium

Back in ye good ole rainy Belgium to celebrate Christmas and the New Year with family and friends. It doesn't feel like I have been away for such a long time, the only thing that's really changed is the death of my friend. I have no desire to talk about it right here and now, because these things shouldn't be put in words. I'll go to his grave and talk to him in person, somewhere floating on the chilly European winds.

It feels good being back. Already gave grandma a big hug, talked to our bird, played with my sister. This truly is "home". But that still doesn't make it my place to spend my life. My mom termed this "bizarre way of thinking" an adolescent yearning for exotism, some form of escapism. She could be right, but I'm much more confronted with reality back in Japan than over here. Being in Japan hasn't always been a good thing for me, mentally nor emotionally, but it feels like a necessity. I have learned so much more in Japan, not only about the world, but also about myself. There is something that has guided me to Japan and I'm still following it. Like that bright shining star that guided the three kings to Jezus. Now, all I have to find is someone to join me in this seemingly neverending journey. (A queen to make our own little Jezus would be nice...) ;-)

Anyways, I'm off to the south of France tomorrow for about a week without a phone, without any internet connection, so Merry Christmas!!!